In an interview, master life coach and bestselling author Rhonda Britten explains how fear works and what you can do to overcome it and take back control.
James: And I think a lot of entrepreneurs operate out of, you know, a significant place of fear; they’re always just one month away from bankruptcy or social, you know, what do you call it when you’re pushed to the side and you’re pulled away, cast away?
Rhonda: Irrelevant. You’re irrelevant, you’re cast away.
James: Yeah, that’s it. They’re pushed to the side, they’re looked down upon, they’ve got people who depend on them to provide for them, obviously. And I think a lot of them are still making up for lost ground from lack of cuddles from their parents or being told they won’t amount to anything by their school teacher, you know, typical stories that you hear.
Rhonda: Well, I think that it’s a really important point that you’re making, is that I don’t know anybody that doesn’t have fear. And one of the things that people say to me on a regular basis is like, “Rhonda, I’m not afraid, I’m not afraid.” I go, “Yeah, I never use the word ‘I’m afraid’ or ‘I’m scared’ either. But I did have the results of being afraid, i.e. manipulation, defensiveness, perfectionism, anxiety, worry, comparing, competing, I could go on. And so all of these fear responses, whatever you think your problem is, is really a fear response. You don’t get overwhelmed unless you have a fear underneath it. You don’t feel rejected if you don’t have a fear underneath it. You don’t, you know, feel discarded if you don’t have a fear underneath it. So most people are not admitting that fear is a driving force in their life, which of course is the number one thing that could turn their life around and change their life, is if they just are willing, the first step is to even admit that they’ve got fear going on.
So I like to say that anything you think your problem is, anything that you beat yourself up for, anything that you think, like, ‘Oh, this is a character weakness, if I only got good at this…’ That’s all fear responses. And so you don’t have a lot of problems. I used to think I had so many problems, right? Worry, perfectionism, etc. procrastination, right? So, I used to think there were so many things wrong with me. But when I started understanding how neuroscience works, and how fear really plays in and is part of our neurobiology, then everything changed for me. And all those things that used to drag me down – that negative self-talk, you know, that, ‘Oh, I’m not good enough.’ You know, again, whatever words you use to beat yourself up, put yourself down, compare yourself to others, those literally went away.
And I don’t know about you, but James, because when I have a clear head and I’m not being inundated with those negative self-talk, I actually can create. I can actually be bold in my decisions. I can actually do things that I’m called to do, rather than, I’ve got to do this because I’m desperate to do it, or I better do this or I’m screwed, right? We don’t want to live our lives like that. I know I don’t. And I come across the majority of people, and I don’t care if you’re an entrepreneur making, you know, $10 million, or an entrepreneur making $5,000. Right? It doesn’t matter. We all have these things that are driving our behavior. That’s actually one of the compelling reasons we do what we do, which is own our own business. We want to become masterful. But fear, it’s part of our neurobiology. It just keeps getting in the way.
Watch the full episode HERE
See our products HERE